Communication, Miscommunication; Perception, Lies

Bumpy times... bumpy times, I say.I made a realization today about relationships and perception. Everything we deal with on a day-to-day basis comes about from our perception of the world around us. This is true for each of us as individuals.The problem that arises from this is that each of us communicates, or rather doesn't communicate with those around us in a whole fashion. Each of us will taylor what is said to the recipient.This is the "I bet he knows... I think she knows I know... I knows I think she knows I know..." that is the basis of so many thrillers out there.If we're afraid of saying the real truth then we have miscommunication. All the white spaces around what is going on in our heads. This is the source of much grief for those around us. I've been on both sides of that. I realized this fact today while taking a shower trying to sort out thoughts. It's amazing how much thought happens in the shower... I guess you don't have much else to do but think.Before, when I was going through a bunch of really hard times... I was on the giving end of the problem. What I said and was thinking didn't match to what I communicating. I'm to blame on that for sure. In the white space was a lot that was perceived as lying. Inadvertent for sure, but the perception on the receiving end was just that. What wasn't communicated couldn't be perceived. What was left was a bitter taste that was just the same as a lie. A distinction without a difference really. For that I'm really rather sorry.I had the same happen, but in reverse. And just as hard.What I was receiving was dead air. I was communicating but what I was getting back was not a whole lot. I was asking for things and I was getting back a "yes" without the required actions to back that up. My perception is that of a lie. The sender was just in radio silence and not communicating. The lack of communication, and without having the ability to process anything defaulted back to "lie." This is a hard one for me to process. Even though the counter-party had no active role in the lie, per se, the lack of either action or communication conspired to the the actor in any case.Coming full circle I think I'm really accepting how this stuff works -- well, as hard as it is to get this stuff to work. As difficult as this whole thing of being human is it's something that is worth is. I'm hoping that the grief I've caused brings some learnings for me for the future... A nugget, a kernel of a truth to help me navigate these fraught waters of relationships between humans.