Done, again

I keep having these days.I'm turning my house into a fucking fortress with cameras at every angle and shit still doesn't work right. I got a Ring doorbell and that thing died within a day. (I swapped it out for another one)I'm just going through life here and it's one day at a time... just getting through every day to get to the next. Not living. I've not enjoyed myself in Seattle for years now... it was just on the brink...Fuck being a "good person." I just need to get away from this shithole of a city.1783 days until I'm 50. I need to leave before then. I just feel every day I spend here is a day wasted from the rest of my life. Like a slow-motion suicide.